Crimes Against Gameanity
by Buiscuitmajor11
Summary: My first Fan fiction. Gloyd has gotten himself into huge trouble with the gang this time. It's a life or death situation now.
1. Chapter 1

It all started on a peaceful day, and a certain pumpkin boy was felling naughty. His naughty trick would involve a cloning machine, Candlehead, a locked room, chocolate milk, and the only character he hasn't pranked in the entire arcade, Sergeant Calhoun.

Beard Papa was a kind and generous man, so when Gloyd asked him for a 20ft. long ladle, he let him keep it. Gloyd soon went to the Nesquik sand pit. He used the ladle to harvest the chocolate milk mix and stuffed it in his hat. He then traveled to Cereal Box Canyon to harvest the milk which was coming straight from a giant cow.

Now he needed to find Candlehead. Gloyd said to her that he needed help then she leaped onto his back and yelled, "Piggyback Ride!" Gloyd tried to shrug her off but she wouldn't budge. He had to carry her for like 8 miles to Hero's Duty because she refused to ride in his kart. What made it worse is that she sung annoying, repetitive songs the whole way through when she wasn't repeating the phrase, "Are we there yet?" over, and over, and over, which drove him to the brink of insanity!

At last, they reached Hero's Duty, where Gloyd and Candlehead managed to sneak past the soldiers and into the beacon tower. There, he spotted the cloning machine and placed the hat shaken chocolate milk on the pedestal. Since Candlehead cannot resist flavored dairy drinks, she climbed up the pedestal. Soon, a glass wall surrounded the cupcake girl, and everything blacked out.

She soon woke up, but she was in for a surprise. There were 19 other Candleheads, which were just as annoying, but were under complete control of the one who cloned them. That one was Gloyd, who instructed them to go into an empty room in the asylum, and the one to follow them was the super charged Tamora Calhoun.

She caught them in the super lockdown room, which is what Gloyd had hoped. Click! The door was locked behind her. There was no way out. Gloyd was going to love this. The tough as nails sergeant stuck in a room with 19 Candleheads. The room had a camera and a mic, so they could interact. All Tamora could hear was Gloyd's howling laughter, realizing she had been duped. She swore and yelled and all Gloyd said was," You aren't getting out for a while now, sissy!" Tamora swore she would eliminate him once she got out, but Gloyd just tapped the record button and skipped merrily on his way, unbeknown of the dangers that await him.


	2. The Plan Backfires

Gloyd was so proud of himself. He had now officially pranked everyone in the arcade. Not wanting to break his back again, he was going to ditch Candlehead in Hero's Duty, hoping that her dumb luck would keep her alive. Before he could leave, though, he ran into the exact 2 people he didn't want to see.

"Hey Pumkinhead" greeted the 9 foot Wreck-It-Ralph, alongside his companion, Fix-It-Felix Jr. "We just came to see Calhoun. I suppose with that smile on your face that you must have pranked a poor sucker. By the way, where is she?" Gloyd chuckled with fear, sweat, and a fake smile and wearily replied, "I dunno…" Because Ralph and Felix had full recognized Gloyd's "I really shouldn't have done that" face, and Felix sternly exclaimed over a course of 5 minutes what he would do if he didn't tell him right away. (The threats weren't really menacing at all, but annoying enough to send them there.) Once they finally got to the asylum, Ralph and Felix had a confused look on their faces. He led them inside the cell Calhoun was in, but they were confused. What were they going to say about 19 singing Candleheads and a strict sergeant trying to kill herself, but kept regenerating. After a moment of silence, Felix started to say something when suddenly…

Click! "I'm sorry!" yelled the frustrated pumpkin boy as he tried to find an escape pod. Ralph started cursing and banging on the door. Gloyd knew that he had to go quick, because Ralph was programmed to possess the talent to wreck, it wouldn't take that long for him to bust it open, and bust he did. Gloyd heard it open and then footsteps coming up fast. An escape pod was in his sight. He sprinted to it so fast that it hurt. ESCAPE POD ACTIVATED. He had used these pods before, so he was pretty used to them. As he blasted off into Sugar Rush, Calhoun screamed, "YOU BASTARD! WE WILL NOT REST UNTIL YOU DIE FOR PUTTING ME THROUGH HELL, GLOYD ORANGEBOAR!" Ralph, still pissed at Gloyd, tutored to Tamora, "Yeesh, learn how to say it, don't spray it." "Come on," said Felix. "Maybe Vanellope can hire us some recruits…"


	3. Horseback Riding and Unsweet Suprises

As the shuttle landed back in Sugar Rush, Gloyd immediately got out. He thought he was in the safe zone, since if he was killed here, he would simply regenerate. It was near time for the random roster race, so he wanted to get there before Vanellope's friends did. Just as he was about to go to the track, two Hero's Duty soldiers threw Candlehead on him. "PLEASE, TAKE HER!" one said sobbing. "We, we were just trying to fulfill maintenance, but she kept on melting every single thing with her flame and tried to serve us soup made out of it." The soldiers ran away screaming, scared of Candlehead. Gloyd rolled his eyes. "Humanity's last hope" he thought.

He then looked at Candlehead and she pulled out a saddle. "Oh no, no, no" he replied. "I am not going to be your ri"- Just then, she pulled out a gun.

As Candlehead was riding Gloyd like a horse, he was keeping an eye out for trouble. He was running on all fours, so that was kind of hard. He couldn't complain, because Candlehead was in possession of a weapon, and although it would not kill him, it would still hurt.(Also, Candlehead requested that he only make horse noises, like moo and cluck.)

Finally, they got to the random roster race. They were just in time for entering their coins. No one seemed to mind the fact that Gloyd was a horse, as they had been subject to the same thing countless times before. Vanellope announced that she would not be racing today due to a private meeting, allowing another opportunity for a victor. Adorabeezle soon left, having to go to the restroom.

Most of the random roster race was the same. Jubileena or Citrusella was hit by something large; Taffyta tried to get in 1st, but ultimately failed, Rancis didn't win, the usual. Gloyd was in first place. He was in for the clear until several nets were shot at him.

Gloyd yelled, "What the hell!?" Now he was driving crazily, now trying to avoid the nets. He looked up and saw four high tech vehicles. He immediately saw the assailants trying to capture him: Calhoun (of course), Ralph (also of course), Felix (Calhoun has the gun, so she calls the shots!), and Vanellope (WAIT, VANELLOPE!?) Gloyd knew she was best buds with Ralph, but she would never hurt a fruit fly. She shot directly at Gloyd. He was sure he was a goner, until Adorabeezle suddenly appeared out of nowhere and ice cream blasted the quad and grabbed Gloyd. "Gloyd," said Adorabeezle. "I know why Vanellope is trying to get you, but I'll explain later!" She zoomed off across the horizon until they were out of sight. "Damn," cursed Vanellope.


	4. Adorabeezle's Secret Lab

Adorabeezle drove Gloyd into the ice cream Mountains, and they were driving in what was called, "The Forbidden Zone." It was named that for its high peaks and common avalanches. No racer would ever dare to even come near the area, so it was not surprising when Gloyd was scared stiff zooming across it at a speed of over 100 mph. –

They came across a large figure that looked like Diet Cola Mountain, but it had lots of bubbles coming out of it. It probably was complete, because it already had an opening. Inside was a high tech laboratory, even more complicated than the Hero's Duty laboratory. "Where am I?" asked Gloyd. "Welcome to Lite Beer Mountain!" exclaimed Adorabeezle. "This is the only place where president glitch doesn't overrun the place with her hidden cameras." "Wait," said Gloyd. "Why is there a top secret base here, and can you PLEASE tell me why Vanellope is hunting me down?

(Earlier at the track, things begin to unwrap…)

Adorabeezle knew that when the president said she was leaving for a private meeting, she knew something was up. Vanellope was not the one for privacy, nor the one for meetings. So she faked her urge to urinate to find out what was happening. "Hey sergeant Doody!" exclaimed Vanellope, who was now in the palace. Adorabeezle had gotten there first and was hiding behind the throne, which was now an emergency cart. "Listen, I need to talk to you." Said Sergeant Calhoun. "It's about pumpkin boy." "OH MY HERSHEYS," Vanellope exclaimed. "He finally pranked you, didn't he? He was all like, I'm gonna prank everyone in the arcade, but I would never had thought he'd actually do it!" "Vanellope," Calhoun said, "he locked me in the asylum with 19 Candleheads along with Felix and Ralph." "Oh no, he may be trying to find out what presents he's gonna get for his birthday again, and must've pranked you so you would be out of the picture! " Vanellope replied, pouting. He had found out every year, leaving everyone disappointed. "I won't allow it this year. In your care however, he will never know what his gifts are until the time comes. Heck, I'll even help you. "As long as he's safe and doesn't get harmed, I'll do anything to assist you!"

"Perfect."

(The Present)

"That makes sense, but here's the truth. Calhoun plans to kill me in Hero's Duty," Gloyd said. "And how did you get all this stuff anyway"? Adorabeezle then pulled out a small device. "Simply put, it clones codes. Right now I'm trying to clone the golden hammer, so my cart will be indestructible."

"Good." Said a figure in the background. "I need to tell Calhoun. Send me back!" In a stutter of pixels, he was gone.

Sorry for the late update. I've been busy. 


End file.
